31st June - Supergenesis

There's a subtle lie that songwriters tell you, and it comes in the form of songs that tell you that you might be beaten down and defeated now but one day you will rise. The lie is not in what the songs say but in the tone. It's a hope, an article of faith, an assurance of better days to come. And something that's true.

But sometimes the fact that you will get up and keep fighting is a fucking lament.

Things suck, and they hurt, and they're too much, and in the misery of defeat there's always the perverse hope that maybe you've broken yourself so much that that's it, and you can just lie there and be defeated, and a fragment of your coward brain looks at that with interest.

And then, horror of horrors, you rise again. because there's more to do and more you can give. Wretched damned thing that you are.

Sometimes not being defeated is a curse.